Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks!

  Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks!

  “A counterintuitive approach to recover and regain control of your life.”

  Die-Hard and Science-Based Techniques to Recover from Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

  Geert Verschaeve

  Founder of ilovepanicattacks.com

  Copyright © Geert Verschaeve, 2017

  Disclaimer

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional or medical problems without the advice of a qualified physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions. This book contains general reference information and is not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician. Neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for any adverse effects that may result from your use of this book. I am not a doctor, and I do not give any medical advice in this book. If you suspect you have a medical problem, I urge you to seek medical attention from a competent health care provider. This book is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

  Table of Coolness

  Acknowledgements

  Thanking My Anxiety

  Before We Start

  My Story

  Part 1: The Counterintuitive Truth about Anxiety and Panic Attacks

  Meet Brian, Debby, Charles, and Monica

  The Four Stages of a Full Recovery

  “You Are Weak”

  The Power Is Already Within You

  How to Feel Totally Calm During Moments of Intense Anxiety

  Why Are We So Anxious?

  The Vicious Cycle

  “Don’t worry, everything is fine, I am fine... right?”

  Symptoms

  Good Versus Bad Anxiety

  Causes of Anxiety

  Your Body

  The Elastic Comfort Circle and Avoidance

  Shame, the underlying cause

  Hereditary?

  The Nervous System (So Important!)

  Part 2: This Is Where You Get Your Life Back

  The Mind and Your Inner “What If?” Voice

  The Skill of Overcoming Anxiety

  Exactly What to Tell Yourself to Overcome Anxiety and Panic Attacks

  Counterintuitive questions you can use when you’re anxious

  Choosing what thoughts to weigh in on

  Calling Out the Name

  Pushing anxiety over the edge

  The “Let’s Do This” Technique

  Use Your Imagination

  How to Feel Safe Wherever You Are

  How to Deal with a Fear of Failure

  How to No Longer Care What People Think of You

  A Special Word on Panic Attacks

  The Body

  Abdominal Breathing

  Exercise

  Part 3: Putting It into Practice

  Jumping Into the Deep End of the Pool

  If Possible, Don’t Plan Ahead

  When It Tries to Come Back

  Now It’s Up to You

  Conclusion

  Addendum: How to apply what you’ve learned on the most common sensations, symptoms, and situations that launch anxiety

  Having crazy thoughts and believing them

  Heart palpitations, skipped heartbeats, and other weirdness related to the chest area

  Red face, flushing, and sweating

  Light-headedness and vertigo

  Nausea and other digestive problems

  Shortness of breath

  Oppressive feelings

  Pain in the chest

  Fear of driving

  Fear of flying

  Fear in social settings

  Expose yourself to them not liking you!

  Fear of getting trapped

  Needing a safe spot nearby

  This is the real end

  Acknowledgements

  I want to thank the many founders of a different way of dealing with anxiety and panic attacks: Marcus Aurelius, Viktor Frankl, Claire Weekes, Nelson Mandela, Aaron T. Beck, Albert Ellis, and Daniel Goleman. These men and women all laid the groundwork for an innovative way of thinking centuries and decades ago.

  Furthermore, I want to thank each and every one of my clients who have followed my audio course over the years. Your testimonials, feedback, wisdom, and words of thanks have made helping as many people as I can my life’s most important mission.

  Thanking My Anxiety

  I’d like to especially thank my panic attacks and a subtle emotion called debilitating anxiety for standing by me for fourteen years.

  You, the anxiety and panic attacks, were always there for me, even when I really didn’t need you to be. Even when I would have rather flossed the teeth of a great white shark than deal with the symptoms you gave me, you were present—day in, day out—always available to pay me a visit. It seemed so effortless to you.

  It had been a long time since I felt like myself, thanks to you. There’s a saying, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” The problem was I didn’t know how to get to that other side because you were blocking my view.

  I used to be embarrassed and ashamed. I felt weak and didn’t want to be seen with you in my presence. I was afraid what other people would think of me if they noticed you hung out with me so often.

  Yet, you have made me the man I am today.

  If it weren’t for you—and especially breaking up with you—I would have little emotional intelligence. It’s thanks to you that I’ve learned to choose how I feel, to choose how to deal with the obstacles life throws at me. That has made life and fully experiencing it so much easier.

  I’m now stronger than the old version of me, before the anxiety and panic attacks started.

  You’ve also made me enjoy the little things in life—things other people take for granted. There were so many activities I disliked or totally avoided at the time that you still chaperoned me.

  When I drive my car now, go to the supermarket, sit in an airplane, wait in line, travel to far-away places, talk to other people, walk into a crowded space, sit in a meeting, give a presentation, eat a meal in a group setting, or do any of the other things that previously scared me, I do so with a sense of gratitude and happiness that gives me a big smile each and every time.

  I now feel at home, wherever I am and I’ve learned to trust my body. I now get to actually enjoy all of the experiences life has to offer, thanks to you, panic attacks and anxiety.

  And now I’m looking at you, my dear reader.

  Overcoming my panic attacks in 2004 has allowed me to help tens of thousands of people ever since, through my website ilovepanicattacks.com, the newsletter, the audio course, my first book, and everywhere else I try to help.

  It’s hard to explain but even after more than a decade of helping people, I still get a lot of satisfaction when someone transforms their life by successfully using my tips and techniques.

  I don’t say this to boast. I’m not special! I say this so you, the reader, know that what follows shouldn’t be taken lightly. It has already he
lped a lot of people.

  I will step on your toes, undoubtedly. I will say things that will make you believe I must have lost my mind. I can assure you, I haven’t.

  I’ve been where you are and found a way out. The way out is not always intuitive. It’s not always easy. If it were, everyone would find it easily and no help would be needed.

  Did what I found work for everyone? No. It didn’t. I’m not an angel with miracle powers, sadly. But I wouldn’t still be here, investing so much of my time in helping people and making it my life’s work if I didn’t see that an overwhelming majority of the people who try it are able to get better.

  I’ve seen people transform their lives when they themselves and those who surrounded them had already given up. These people believed their anxious state and the avoidance that often accompanied it was something that would be there forever. They thought they would just have to learn to manage it all, especially since they had already tried countless therapies before. They were luckily wrong. You’ll read some of their stories throughout this book.

  My goal in this book is to give you that same transformation.

  Please write down today’s date on your calendar. This is the day that your life will start to change. You’re about to learn strategies and make changes that will help you improve far beyond the anxiety issues that you bought this book for. And you’ll have your panic attacks or anxiety to thank for it.

  Before We Start

  Without wanting to sound like a know-it-all, I think I know how you feel.

  When anxiety or panic strikes for the first time, all you want to do is get out of there, wherever you got that wave of fear. When it strikes for the fifth time, you may decide it’s best to avoid that particular location altogether.

  But then—and this also happens when your anxiety is not linked to a location at all—you see that the anxiety tends to follow you around. There is no running; there is no hiding. It’s inside of you. It’s a part of you.

  The day you had that realization was probably not a great day. How can you possibly avoid that? There’s no running from our own selves. That’s when you might have come to the conclusion that you’d just have to learn to live with it.

  I’ve been there, too. Overcoming this type of anxiety seems impossibly hard.

  You may also believe you’re different than “normal” people. Or even that your anxieties are different compared to the ones other anxious people suffer from. You may be convinced that you’re alone in this.

  Please allow me to set the record straight from the get-go. You are not alone.

  And there is a way out. Those I’ve helped and I are living proof of this. And again, I’m not that special. Millions of people have overcome their anxieties without any of my help.

  There’s just one real prerequisite.

  You’ll need to commit! You will need to decide right now that you’ve had it with your anxiety-related issues and that you’ll persevere. If you do that, you’ll be surprised what will follow in the next couple of weeks and months.

  It won’t be easy, but we’re in this together.

  My Story

  My panic attacks started at around the age of nine. I was pretty careless before that age. I had lots of friends and no worries at all. I was only afraid of the monsters in my closet and the shark from Jaws, a movie I saw while I was too young. Yet at that age, I had my first real panic attack during New Year’s Eve. The symptoms were so debilitating that I’ll never forget the experience.

  I didn’t get what was happening. It was as if I couldn’t control what I was feeling. That was frustrating since, at the same time, I tried to hide my symptoms from the other people present. I didn’t want to ruin their night or become the center of attention. I had severe dizziness; my vision was starting to get pitch black as if I was going to faint and even lose consciousness. I had nausea, a pounding heart, and tingling sensations on my skin. Even though it was in the middle of winter, I felt like someone had decided to host this dinner party inside a volcano.

  In the years that followed, these overwhelming feelings came back sporadically. Then it became a lot worse around the age of sixteen. The panic occurred anywhere I couldn’t leave whenever I wanted: restaurants, movie theaters, public transportation, airplanes, waiting rooms, queues, or family get-togethers. I consistently felt as though I was trapped in a cave, and I was always counting down the minutes until I could get out of there.

  At first, I thought I had claustrophobia, but that didn’t make any sense. I wasn’t in a tight cave. After all, movie theaters and supermarkets are big. I was at a loss and didn’t get what was wrong with me and why I was feeling this way.

  It started to dawn on me that other people played a major role in my feelings. It was their opinion I was afraid of, combined with a severe fear of all of the symptoms I was feeling and a lack of confidence in my body.

  “What would they think of me if they saw my anxiety?”

  “Wouldn’t they think I was weak? Or strange?”

  “And what the heck was wrong with me?”

  “Why couldn’t I be normal like other people and just have fun?”

  “Did I have a major disease in my body that doctors couldn’t find?”

  I felt ashamed.

  There was a huge gap between the image I wanted other people to have of me and how I was really feeling.

  How was I ever going to be a good dad and husband with a great career if I continued to feel like this?

  I just didn’t get it.

  By the age of eighteen, I had it just about everywhere that was more than five miles from my home, my safe place, my fortress. My social life was reduced to those events I could absolutely not avoid, like going to class. But I always went straight home after.

  My list of symptoms had grown to:

  Pounding heart

  Sweating and feeling warm

  Rapid breathing and/or hyperventilating

  Dizziness and vertigo

  Lightheadedness

  Feeling like someone had parked a car on my chest

  Intestinal problems

  Nausea

  My skin getting very red

  Strange tingling sensations in my arms or legs

  Difficulties swallowing and a dry mouth

  Pain in my chest

  Honestly, if you look at that list of symptoms, who wouldn’t be worried?

  These symptoms gave me panic attack after panic attack, and the most frustrating part was that my doctors—I saw many of them—never found anything. I was in good health. They asked me not to worry so much. That solution sounded easy but didn’t help.

  I started to lose friends quickly. I don’t blame them; it wasn’t fun hanging out with me at that time. The panic attacks could strike at any moment. Whenever my friends asked me to join them somewhere, I declined, using one of my many excuses I employed at the time.

  I had a ton of fear of the fear. I was afraid to feel bad again, to be somewhere I couldn’t escape when I wanted to. I was continuously checking in on how I felt.

  And, on top of that, I developed a social phobia that made me continuously worry about what other people thought of me.

  Not all my fears were linked to the presence or absence of other people. The hypochondria became pretty bad as well. I was sure I had a serious disease and no longer trusted my body. Why else was I having all of those symptoms?

  My anxiety became chronic, and I came down with generalized anxiety disorder not long after. The moments without anxiety became scarce.

  By 2003, I had developed full agoraphobia. I only felt safe in my own house. I chose a safe job, tried to avoid meetings, and basically adapted my entire life to dodge my anxiety as much as possible. That was fun...

  I felt so powerless. That powerlessness was one of the most irritating side effects of my anxiety and panic attacks. I believed I never had control over my thoughts, my body, and my surroundings. I felt worse than a penguin in the desert. I didn’t know when and if my symptom
s and accompanying anxiety would occur and the thought of that made me even more anxious.

  You may understand exactly how I felt.

  In 2004, the pinnacle year panic attack wise, it got so bad that I even had panic attacks in my own bed. I suffered from a generalized anxiety disorder that made me feel anxious all the time.

  One night I said, “Look, Geert, that’s it! I’ve had enough of this. I want you to do whatever it takes to get over this. WHATEVER IT TAKES! I want my old life back. I want to live and have fun, and I only live once. This is not the dress rehearsal. This is it!”

  I got so motivated that I started to take action. I’ll spare you the details of that trial-and-error period, but it was a long process. Over the next few months, I was talking to a ton of panic attack survivors, testing things, trying mental techniques, working out a strategy, and more. Then, by December 2004, I realized I hadn’t had a panic attack or disturbing anxiety for months.

  I recognized that I hadn’t been partaking in my favorite hobby, checking in on how I felt, for a long time.

  I still recall going to a movie theater with the two friends I had left and as I sat there, I was waiting for the panic attack that had always come in the past. It didn’t. What a victory! It felt better than anything I had ever achieved before.